


drown

by mirkwood131



Series: EXO Central [34]
Category: EXO (Band), GOT7, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Love, Homophobia, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Teenage Drama, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 05:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15430266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkwood131/pseuds/mirkwood131
Summary: Chanyeol returns to his hometown and the ghosts from his past start haunting him once again. Baekhyun is one of them.





	drown

**Author's Note:**

> this fic took me so long to write. i was literally avoiding writing for it, which is unusual for me, because i usually enjoy doing one-shots. this was the exception. i somehow hate it even though i don't think it's the worst thing that i've ever made.  
> btw, this story takes place in 1997 and 1987.  
> anyways. 0.0  
> song recom: [ Seafret-Drown ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI12l6-l57w)
> 
> hope you'll enjoy:)

**DAY 1**

 

 

Chanyeol steps out of the car and sighs. He looks around, and feels his feet go numb as everything starts spinning around.

There’s a moment when he thinks that he might fall down, so he grips the door tighter, until his knuckles turn white. It’s burning, from the scorching sun.

“Chanyeol!!” someone yells.

He glances in that direction. A man wearing blue overalls is walking towards him. The small gate creaks when it is pushed opened and Chanyeol sighs with it.

“Long time no see, right?” the man asks, stopping right in front of him.

His chest rises and quickly falls back.

“Right.” he laughs.

They stand in silence as the man shifts from one foot to another. Chanyeol wants to hug him, but he doesn’t. Too sudden and warm for someone he hasn’t seen in years. So he only shakes his hand, quickly.

“Have you met my wife?”

“No.” Chanyeol says.

“Of course you haven’t.” the man laughs, brushing a hand through his hair. “She’s in the kitchen now, cooking. I suppose you are here only for a couple of days, right?”

“3 days.”

“Right.”

Chanyeol walks beside him, trying to match his pace to the man’s. They keep the silence as he looks around, at the grass on either sides of the path, at the trees and vineyard tangling on his left, going up on a metal railing, sheltering their heads from the sun.

The air is humid as it has just rained. Water droplets are trickling down, sometimes on his face too. A kitten runs between his legs and stops behind him, meowing loudly.

“It’s nice.” Chanyeol says.

“It is.” the other smiles. “I could take you on the field if you want to. There’s also a garden where we make most of our vegetables.”

Chanyeol nods, brushing his fingers on some leaves. It makes his hand wet and sticky. The kitten runs towards them once again and tangles itself with his feet.

“Easy, Felix.” the man laughs.

He bends down and gently picks it up by the fur on its neck. The kitten meows once before he cradles at the man’s chest. It starts purring.

“We have four little ones with him. And one of the older cats is about to give birth again. The last one was a miscarriage.” the man says.

They stop when they reach the end of the path where there is a big opening between the two houses that he could see from the small road. The ground is cemented and still wet and Chanyeol steps right into a big puddle.

The man places the kitten down and shouts:

“Irene! Irene! Chanyeol is here.”

Chanyeol glances towards what he supposes is the kitchen, a house only made out of a big room connected with a square house, about the same size. The white door opens and a woman comes outside, holding a child at her chest.

“Hello.” she says, smiling.

She walks over to him and motions to kiss him on the cheeks but Chanyeol extends his hand instead. Irene shakes it with a laugh and the child stirs in her arms.

“She is Yerim.” the woman says.

“How old is she?” Chanyeol asks.

“8 months.” Irene says. “Would you like to hold her?”

“I’m afraid I might drop her.” he says, shaking his head.

“Chanyeol here is good with children. Don’t listen to him. He’s too modest.” Baekhyun says and glances at him.

Chanyeol brings his gaze to the ground and watches one black kitten jump into a big pot.

“Are you hungry?” Irene asks. “You must be after…how many hours on the road?”

“10. But it’s nothing.” Chanyeol says.

“I’ve told you. Too modest.” Baekhyun says and bursts into the laughter.

It’s the same one he has gotten used to years ago, on that he thought he has forgotten. Or maybe that it has changed somehow.

Even Baekhyun almost looks the same. At least, his brown eyes and the curve of his thin lips when he smiles one of his mischievous ones. He’s thinner now, he thinks, cheekbones hollow and wrinkles on his forehead, at the corners of his eyes that weren’t there before. Skin tanner, much tanner than Chanyeol’s almost milky white.

Chanyeol thinks that the other suits the change, with dignity and the same humorous way of looking at life.

“You’ll sleep in the old house.” Baekhyun says. “Don’t worry. It’s just been renovated.”

Chanyeol nods and glances towards the third construction, parallel to the other two. Bigger than them and with many windows that face the opening in the vegetation.

Behind them, where the cement ends, the ground is wet and he can see some yellow chicken, running around and eating most of the flowers.

“I’ll show you the room.” Baekhyun says.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t be shy if you are hungry. I’ve just finished cooking.” Irene says.

Chanyeol gives another glance to the child that seems to have fallen asleep. He follows Baekhyun inside, down a narrow hallway that leads to a door in the far corner. Somehow, he feels impatient to catch a second alone with Baekhyun. Talk to him as naturally as they have used to.

“That’s the bedroom. It might smell funny because nobody sleeps in here.” Baekhyun says, pushing the door open.

“It’s nice.” Chanyeol smiles.

“I’m aware that it doesn’t compare to what you see where you live but-”

“It’s more than enough, Baek.” Chanyeol says.

The nickname slips from his lips easily. He regrets it afterwards, as the other doesn’t say anything, just wraps both arms around his body.

“Tomorrow I’ll be up early. 5, the latest. If you want to come with me and see the fields, you should go early to sleep.” Baekhyun says, tapping his fingers on the doorframe.

“Sure. I’ll try.”

He laughs and then he remains quiet as none of them know what to say anymore. The silence makes him turn around, just a little, until he can peak through the window, right outside. Two of the kittens are playing with some leaves. Chanyeol think that back then, there wasn’t a moment of quietness between them. And even when it was, there was something comforting in it.

“I should probably go.” Baekhyun coughs.

“Alright.”

“Call if you need anything.”

“Sure.”

Chanyeol waits a couple of seconds as the other gives no sign of leaving: “Baekhyun…?”

“Yes? I’m sorry…I should leave, shouldn’t I?”

“I’m glad that I came.” Chanyeol says.

“Me too. Now you got to rest.”

Baekhyun quickly walks towards the entrance door, without looking back at Chanyeol. He sighs one more time and closes the door to the room. All the noise from outside is cancelled by the walls and the closed window. He opens it and breathes in. In the distance he can clearly discern some dogs barking and in the garden, the chickens keep eating away at the greenery.

From his room, he can only see a small part of the garden and on a metal pillar a plant with white flowers that climbs up and up, to the roof of the house.

Chanyeol sits down on the bed and puts his head on the pillow. Everything smells like dust and old times.

He closes his eyes and focuses on the noises outside. The day slowly turns into night as he can tell from the heavy shadows falling on the room. Chanyeol doesn’t know when he has fallen asleep.

 

**DAY 2**

 

The rooster wakes him up, as well as the barking of some dogs. He scratches his forearms and stretches his body.

Outside it is bright and the room filled with light. Chanyeol stands up from the bed and looks at his phone. It reads 9:34am.

“Fuck!” he mumbles as he rushes out of the room, outside.

He cannot manage to find the shoes that he came with, so he turns around, back to the room.

“Where did I leave my suitcase.” he wonders.

He walks outside again, standing on the door sill with his bare feet, glancing around.

“Good morning!” he hears a voice.

“Morning!” he shouts.

“Baekhyun has left almost 4 hours ago. He didn’t want to wake you up.” the woman says and stops in front of him.

“He should have.” Chanyeol laughs. “I can’t seem to find my shoes.” he continues, looking down at his fingers.

“You left them outside and the kittens started playing with them so I put them in the kitchen.” Irene says.

She opens the door and grabs them from somewhere before she gives them to him.

“You must be starving.” she says.

“I am.” he laughs.

“It’s good then. I still have some food in the fridge.” she laughs.  

“I don’t eat that much anyways so you don’t need to worry.” he says as he follows her into the kitchen.

“Baekhyun does.”

“Can I go afterwards to see the fields?” Chanyeol asks when he sits down at the table; the chair creaks when he pulls it and the silence stretches in the sound of the tapping of his fingers.

“I have some cheese and tomatoes and some sausages.” Irene says when she opens the fridge. “You should go with the car to the field. It’s a long way on foot.” she continues.

“That sounds great.” Chanyeol smiles.

He watches as one of the kittens runs to where he is sitting and falls down, with its soft, white belly up, exactly next to his foot.

“Nononono!” Irene admonishes. “You get out, right now, Felix. Right now.” she says and nudges the kitten in the ribs until it stands up and runs underneath the bed near the door.

“Felix is adorable.”

“Wait until he jumps on the table. Here.” she says, puting the plate in front of him. “I’ll be outside while you eat. I need to sweep the entire yard because of those damn chickens.” she whispers.

“Yerim. Where is she?” he suddenly blubbers.

“With my parents.”

“Thank you. For the food.” he blushes, but Irene doesn’t seem to notice as she tidies the small bed before she walks outside.

He starts eating slowly, all alone in the kitchen. After a while, the kitten returns to him and jumps right on his lap.

“No. Bad, bad Felix.” Chanyeol whispers.

But the kitten starts meowing, staring right at the white cheese and sausages.

Chanyeol smiles and takes a piece out of each of them and feeds them to him. But the meowing returns, stronger even, so he just gives him on a tissue an entire slice of cheese and half of a sausage. He isn’t left with much afterwards, maybe just too many tomatoes and bread.

“Did you feed him?” Irene asks when he gets inside.

“A little.” he says as the kitten keeps rubbing himself on his legs.

“Baekhyun will come home with the workers at 12 to eat lunch. If you want to catch them, you should leave now.” she says.

“Alright. What’s the way?”

“Go to the main road. Go left and when you see the first crossroad, go right. Then straight ahead for 10 kilometers until you reach a mill with a crucifix next to it. That’s where they are.” Irene says.

“Hope I won’t get lost.” he laughs.

 

 •••

 

 

The nice, county road quickly turns into a dirt road right when he exits the village and the last house passes by in a big cloud of yellow dust. Everything changes around, the smaller, thinner trees, the wooden fences and the houses are replaced by black, bald ground and weeds in places. Some fields are covered in sunflower, waving their bodies in the gentle breeze of the end of August. They are big and golden, with healthy, green leaves and stems. He passes by some crops that he doesn’t know the name of and in some places there’s only hundreds and hundreds of meters of thick and tall grass that reaches the upper thighs if you were to walk through it.

The car goes over smaller or bigger rocks that are being propelled into the distance and from time to time, Chanyeol can clearly hear the singing of a bird.

Eventually, he spots the mill and the crucifix. He stops the engine and steps out of the car. The sun is hot and there’s no trace of clouds on the bright blue sky.

He glances around, hoping to see someone. But it’s all quiet. Where he is standing, the corn is tall and menacing.

Then, after a while, he hears some voices. He keeps standing there, at the end of the field, waiting.

Finally, a man in blue overalls stops on front of him.

“Lookin’ for somebody?” the man asks.

“Yes.” Chanyeol says.

The man is covered in dust and sweat, creating some sort of sticky mud all over his tanned skin.

“Who?”

“Byun Baekhyun.”

“You must be looking for the chief then.” the man laughs. “I’m Kyungsoo.” he says, extending his arm.

Chanyeol looks down at it, at the callous and short fingers, all covered in dirt and sweat like the rest of him. He rapidly shakes it, keeping his own hand at a distance, barely touching the skin. “What’s yours?”

“Chanyeol.” he says.

“Are you the one with the deal from last week?”

“Nonono.” Chanyeol shakes his head.

He searches through his pockets for anything that he could clean his hand on. But he doesn’t find anything. He thinks that the other looks at him funnily, much shorter than him, looking up, straight into his eyes.

“I’m a friend.” he adds.

“Then I see.” Kyungsoo nods, pursing his full lips. “I’ll call him. The sun will burn you, though.” he laughs.

Chanyeol expects him to leave, wants him to leave as his presence makes him feel like an intruder in a different space. Nothing that he feels accustomed to anymore.

“Byuun!!” the man shouts. “Byun! Someone is looking for ya!”

Chanyeol looks around. There’s no movement between the golden leaves and stems of the corn. Everything is still and quiet. After a couple of seconds, he thinks that he can hear some light buzzing coming from the distance.

“Does it…whe-is Baekhyun near?”

“Almost here, don’t worry.” Kyungsoo says. “So, where are you from?”

“Uhm? Oh…Chicago.”

“That’s quite far away, isn’t it?”

“10 hours, by car.” Chanyeol says, shifting around until some dirt gets into his shoe.

“Still a long way.” Kyungsoo says. “Here he is, your friend.” he points with a grin that makes the dirt on his face crumble down, right on his neck.

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun puffs.

“Were you busy because I-”

“It’s fine.” Baekhyun laughs. “The guys can handle it.” he says.

He starts walking towards the mill and Chanyeol follows him.

“I’m glad that you came.” Baekhyun says, smiling.

“You’ve already said that.”

“Have I?” he asks, brushing his fingertips over the grass strands that slowly swings. “Do you have someone…there, in Chicago?”

Chanyeol hits a rock and laughs. He only shakes his head in response.

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“Because…” and Chanyeol glances somewhere else, towards the golden corn. “Sometimes I think it is a mistake coming here. I feel like an intruder even though I lived here a great part of my life. I know nobody.” he says.

“Nobody remembers me and I remember nobody. You, instead, you’ve made a life for yourself here. Something that I couldn’t do. It’s too much for me…this closeness with all these people that-that-”

He lifts his arms in the air and then let’s them fall back on his thighs.

“You were always different from me.” Baekhyun says.

Chanyeol glances back and he can see that the mill is far behind them now. As well as Kyungsoo, but the golden corn drags along, following each and every step of theirs.

“This life suits me but doesn’t suit you. These fields are everything to me.” Baekhyun says and stops, looking around.

“Maybe that was the problem.” Chanyeol sighs.

“This is for the best.”

“You were different.”

“Now I have things, people to take care of, people that depend on me.” Baekhyun says.

His voice suddenly drops. “I love…this.” he points to the entire field.

Chanyeol sighs and chooses to walk behind him. The sun is brighter and hotter than before, burning his skin. Everything stings and hurts and Chanyeol covers the back of his neck with his palm.

“Take this.” Baekhyun says and hands him his shirt.

“Thanks…” Chanyeol says and puts it over himself.

“You know…we used to play on the fields and do you remember when my grandfather used to have that little house where the watermelon plantation was, to watch over them at night?”

“I do.” Chanyeol says. “You liked it better.”

“We both liked it. And the dog.” Baekhyun says. “Poor, stupid, stupid dog.” he whispers.

They both sigh and Chanyeol can clearly remember the almost white dog, always dirty with dust, howling at night when it would thunder. Poor, stupid, stupid dog that they found on a heap of trash. Dead. He remembers the dog and everything in between, as if the dead dog had marked the moment he thought about leaving.

“What happened to him?” he asks, even though he knows.

“He died. Don’t you remember? Right before…” Baekhyun whispers and Chanyeol looks anywhere else but at him.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Chanyeol shrugs.

“I’ve invited you to the wedding, that summer. The invite came back 3 days later.” Baekhyun says. “You should have come.”

“You are talking from the perspective of someone-”

“I know what you’ve been through. What we’ve been through.”

“Well, none of you understood. You’ve all just been pointing fingers here and there. Even you.” Chanyeol says.

“I didn’t.” Baekhyun shakes his head. “It’s not my-you’ve known my father.”

“You could have left too. We would have managed.” Chanyeol says.

“It’s been too many years since. I don’t hold a grudge anymore and you shouldn’t either.”

“Of course you don’t.”

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun whispers and touches his arm.

Chanyeol flinches away, making a couple of steps back.

“You’ve moved past. Well, I couldn’t.”

“You’ve made a life for yourself in Chicago.” Baekhyun says.

He bends down and picks a stick that he throws away. It falls somewhere in the corn.

“Music and a small village don’t really mix.” he continues.

Baekhyun stands up and sighs. “We should go back. I think it’s done on this side.”

The buzzing has stopped and Chanyeol can clearly see the big, bright green combine stopped at the headland. “I could show you around after lunch.” Baekhyun says.

“Is it just you and Kyungsoo?” he asks.

“And the driver. I met Kyungsoo after you left. He’s from a nearby village but now works for me all year around. Except for the winters.” Baekhyun says, stopping in front of the mill.

“Thirsty?”

But Chanyeol shakes his head.

Kyungsoo is looking in their direction and he glances down, at his dirty shoes. He still feels the gaze, hot on the back of his neck, even when he knows that the man is not even looking at him anymore.

 

 •••

 

“We only have the sunflower to harvest and I suppose that we could start on Monday. We’ve already got some offers for the corn.” Baekhyun says with a mouthful.

They are all around the table that is placed in the opening between the three houses. Chanyeol has Baekhyun to his right and the other man, Kyungsoo, on the left.

“The food is great.” Chanyeol says.

“Thank you.” Irene smiles. “Do you like the fields?”

“It’s rather-”

“It’s clear that the sun doesn’t see him. He’s all sunburnt.” Kyungsoo laughs. “Big town folk, with air conditioning.”

“What ya doing out there?” the man Chanyeol has yet to know his name asks him.

“I make the soundtracks for movies.” he says.

“Huh…”

Silence falls back at the table, as everybody focuses on their plates. From time to time, Chanyeol gives a short glance to Baekhyun, but then he looks back at his food.

“He’s been making music since we were kids.” Baekhyun says. “Back then he was copying every song he would hear on the radio, sing it out loud and maybe make a story that would go with it.”

Chanyeol stares down at his food, aware that everyone else is looking at him. He knows that he is supposed to say something, but he doesn’t.

“He’s like…a genius composer.” Baekhyun smiles.

“That’s not true.” he whispers.

“Don’t be modest.”

“Hey, Irene, give me some beer, would ya?” the man he doesn’t know his name says.

The woman quickly glances at Baekhyun, but then she stands up without a word and walks towards the kitchen. “Does anybody else want som’?”

“Give everybody one!” Baekhyun says.

A couple of flies are buzzing around Chanyeol’s hands, so he shushes them away. More replace those quickly anyways.

“So…how are the women in the big town?” the man asks.

“Sorry…I haven’t caught your name.” Chanyeol says.

“Jackson.” he says with a smirk. “How are they?”

“Fine.” he shrugs.

“Come on, I’m sure you got…” the man looks around and then says, in a shushed voice, “some good pussy over there.”

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun both burst out in laughter as Irene appears in the door frame holding four beers in her hands.

Chanyeol quickly stands up and grabs two of them with shaky hands.

“Thank you.”

He only smiles in response and places, with too much force, one of them right in front of Jackson. The warm liquid spills from the bowl, trickling over the edges and onto the table cloth.

“So sorry.” he whispers and grabs a napkin.

“Calm down.” Jackson laughs. “Irene can clean it just fine.”

She lightly smiles and takes the tissue from Chanyeol’s hand.

“You haven’t finished talking about Chicago.” Jackson continues. “I mean…it must be different from this stupid village.”

“It’s different, yes.” he nods.

Chanyeol still hasn’t opened his beer. Once again, he can feel everybody’s eyes glued on him.

“Very noisy and a lot of people that…is hard to get close to someone. It’s very lonely.” he says in the end.

“Well, better than the fucking crone knowing when you shit.” Jackson laughs.

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo follow him shortly and Chanyeol only lets out a dry laughter.

“I’m gonna go.” Kyungsoo says. “Nice meeting you and all but I have work to do at home too.”

He vigorously shakes Chanyeol’s hand and then the other two’s, before he nods in Irene’s direction and eventually leaves.

“Does anybody need more food?” she asks after a while.

“I’m full.” Jackson laughs.

“Me too.” Baekhyun says. “Come on. I’m going to show you around.”

“Alright.”

“I could come too.” Jackson bursts out into laughter.

Chanyeol gives Baekhyun a short glance and he has the impression that the other has lightly nodded.

“It’s fine.” Baekhyun says. “You better go home.” he tells to Jackson who bursts once again into laughter.

 

  •••

 

“This is a nice car.” Baekhyun says.

“I rent it for the weekend, actually. I don’t have a car.”

“Oh.” he whispers, looking out of the window. “Make right now and then left.”

The car eventually stops when Chanyeol clearly sees the contours of the lake. He takes the keys out of contact and opens the door.

“I haven’t been here for years.” Baekhyun says.

He stretches his body, looking right at the blue waters as the wind is growing stronger and stronger.

“It might rain.” he says.

They start walking, Chanyeol keeping his hands in the pockets of his trousers.

“I think I regret coming here.” Chanyeol says.

“Do you mind if I smoke?” Baekhyun asks, taking a pack from a pocket; Chanyeol shakes his head and kicks a rock. “It’s just…when I’m anxious I like to smoke.”

“I don’t mind.” he says.

“Chicago didn’t really change you.”

“It didn’t?”

“I don’t suppose it did.” Baekhyun whispers.

He blows a cloud of smoke into the air and watches it slowly disappear.

“You’ve never liked my friends, anyways.”

“I’ve never said anything about them…” Chanyeol says.

They both stop when they reach the superficial shore of the lake. The wind brushes the waters past the sand, into the short grass, onto their shoes. Chanyeol jumps over one small wave and then he sees that Baekhyun has done the same.

“Well, you’ve never been particularly subtle when it came to them, anyways. Not that I mind it.” Baekhyun shrugs.

He sits down, on the edge, far enough not to get wet, and throws a stone into the water. It sinks right to the bottom of it.

“I was trying to be.” Chanyeol laughs.

“You were?” Baekhyun raises an eyebrow.

“Yes…”

He kicks Baekhyun in the shoulder.

“I almost fell.” he laughs, throwing some sand in his direction.

“I missed you.”

“I know. How couldn’t you?” Baekhyun laughs, looking up at his face.

“I mean it…”

“Do you?” he says and stands up, brushing away the sand from his pants.

“Tomorrow morning I’m leaving.” Chanyeol says.

“Alright. You’ve said it already.”

“Okay…” he whispers.

“Don’t take it the wrong way, but it’s been 10 years and my life has changed. And you haven’t been in it at all, so don’t expect me to act sad. I can. That’s not the problem. But I don’t want to because it’s stupid and pointless since you leave tomorrow. Why did you come anyways?” Baekhyun asks.

Chanyeol shrugs.

“That was harsh.”

“It wasn’t.” Chanyeol says. “I don’t know either…why I came here, I mean.”

“I know. Anyways…” Baekhyun sighs.

“You didn’t say…when did your father…die?”

“2 months after you left. Heart attack. He just…fell on the ground and that was it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m certain you are the last person to feel sorry for his death. After what he said about you.” Baekhyun says, shaking his head. “He turned me against you quite easily, didn’t he?”

“Probably.” Chanyeol says.

“Look. I was barely 18. He was my father and I’m sorry that I said what I said in the way that I did. I should have worded everything better. But you running away and coming back now…to…what?!”

Chanyeol stands up and sighs.

“Maybe you don’t see it. If course you don’t.” Chanyeol bursts into dry laughter. “But you are exactly like your father.”

“I’m not.”

“You think that you are better?”

“Yes.”

“I-I…I would have done everything for you. We could have left together and we would’ve been just fine. I’m fine.”

“Are you?! Are you really because it doesn’t seem so. If you were truly ‘just fine’ you wouldn’t be coming back here. I wouldn’t.” Baekhyun shrugs.

“But you chose to-to say all that crap and act like your father’s dog.”

“Stop it!!” Baekhyun shouts, kicking the sand. “Stop it…you don’t know how it has been. Being beaten. Night after night. You didn’t try to understand back then as you don’t right now.” he continues, calmer.

“And it was all my fault, wasn’t it?”

“Maybe…” Baekhyun whispers.

“Fine.” Chanyeol says. “I don’t think that I’m leaving tomorrow anymore. I’m leaving now.”

“Fine. If it makes you feel better.”

“Maybe Irene should know about everything.”

“Shut up. Just shut up, Chanyeol. I am happier than you, I have a family, I-I-”

“I’m going.” he says and starts walking towards the car.

“Just stop!”

“No…” he whispers.

He is running until he reaches the car and then he stops.

“You are doing it again!”

“So be it!”

“Chanyeol…”

 

  •••

 

“Get the fuck out of my way!!” Chanyeol yelled.

“No!! You are not leaving me like this…you can’t leave me like this…” Baekhyun shouted and fell down, right in front of the car.

“Please get out or I’ll drive over you…” Chanyeol continued, gripping the steering wheel tighter until his knuckles turned white.

“No! Not until we talk!” he yelled back.

Chanyeol pressed the pedal and the car moved from its place. The tires screeched on the asphalt when he hit the break.

“Fucking fuck!” Baekhyun yelled.

He stood up, tripping over his own feet as the yellow lights were blinding him.

“Fuck! Are you alright?” Chanyeol asked.

He opened the door and strode over to him. Baekhyun was shaking, arms wrapped around his thin body.

“Baek…” he whispered.

“You need to go and I won’t stop you. I mean my father will beat you up if he sees you, so you shouldn’t…“

"Come with me.”

But Baekhyun shook his head and stepped aside until he was standing next to the car.

“Baekhyun. He is beating the fuck out of you because of-”

“Because of you.” Baekhyun said.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do. It’s only your fault. I’m normal, I’m not a freak like you who does…does disgusting things.” Baekhyun spits out. “I can’t leave with someone like-like you.”

“You can’t mean that. You’ve told me that you are in love with me!!” Chanyeol yelled.

“I lied! I didn’t know better!! That it was all wrong. Wrong, so wrong and disgusting and-”

Chanyeol got back into the car and shut the door close.

 

  •••

 

Chanyeol shuts the door of the car close and glances towards Baekhyun. He’s standing with both hands in his pockets, watching him with a strange calmness on his face.

He pushes the gas pedal down and the car moves from its place. Little stones fly through the air as the lake is becoming smaller and smaller and Baekhyun’s figure thinner and thinner until it is made out of air. Chanyeol breathes out and hits the breaks. He glances in the rearview mirror but the lake and everything are gone.

The village is right ahead of him, house after house and house, staring right at him and his car. His foot automatically presses the gas again.

All the houses remain right behind him, in a twirling mess as the speed increases and his shoes goes down, down, down.

It’s all a big colored splotch when the village is replaced by deep green fields that almost burn in the red sunlight. The road is a monotonous line ahead of him, going on for kilometers, up, on the back of a small hill, free of any vegetation. Only some trees and bushes are on each side, but they do nothing to shelter from the sun. They almost intensify it.

He looks to his right. The grass is yellow and onto it, there are two people, giggling as they hold each other in their arms.

  

•••

 

“This is a terrible idea.” Baekhyun whispered.

“This is a great idea. I need to show you something.” he said in the same hushed tone, holding tightly onto his hand as they were both running.

Outside it was dark and it seemed like they were in a sea of crickets, tickling their bare ankles. The grass was passed their knees, waving in the wind.

“A haystack?” Baekhyun asked then, when they both stopped.

“Get on it.”

“I’m too small.” the boy laughed.

Chanyeol grabbed him, shaking worse and worse with each passing second, and threw him on top of it. His arms were feeling light, like they were floating, too numb for any pain to be felt.

“Are you out of your mind?!”

Chanyeol climbed too, next to Baekhyun, and glanced up. “There.” he pointed. “All the constellations.”

“You haven’t answered my question.” he laughed and nudged the other in the ribs. “It’s pretty.”

“Look there.” Chanyeol pointed. “That’s a comet.”

“Where?”

“See that bluish light? That’s the tail.”

“I see it.” Baekhyun smiled in the darkness.

He looked to the side, at Chanyeol’s face all scrunched up in concentration as he was only looking at the sky.

“It’s called Hale-Bopp. It passed its perihelion but-”

“Shh…” Baekhyun laughed, placing a finger onto his lips.

He trailed it down to his lower lip and then on his chin, before he cupped his face.

“I think…I think that I might be in love.” he whispered.

Chanyeol gulped down and looked up at him.

“Really…?”

He nodded and laughed, before he lightly kissed him on the cheek.

“I am in love too, then.”

 

 •••

 

The light suddenly turns red and the sirens start. Chanyeol looks to the left and then to the right, waiting for the train.

He thinks about what it would happen if he just drove the car a couple of meters further, on the rail road tracks, and waited. Closed his eyes and counted the second until the railings would tremble and the train would honk, honk and honk and then…Nothing.

He thinks about that but at the same time, takes the key out of contact and waits for the train to pass and the light to turn back white.

 

 •••

 

“I have not raised a fucking faggot!!” the man yelled and slapped Baekhyun over the already reddened cheek.

He fell to the ground and covered it with both hands. Another kick came and that time, Baekhyun shrieked and made himself into a small ball.

“I will not have my son kissing a faggot in barns!!” he yelled and hit him one more time.

Baekhyun bit down on his fist, hard, and kept quiet.

“Stop it! Stop it! You are going to kill him!!” a woman shouted, grabbing at the man’s arms. “He’s your son.”

“He isn’t my fucking son. This fucking faggot!!” he yelled and kicked and kicked and kicked until Baekhyun’s body became numb.

 

  •••

 

“If my father catches me here…with you.” Baekhyun whispered.

“What? What will he do?”

“Don’t doubt him…I…just don’t.” he said and sat down, on the hay.

“This is supposed to be romantic.” Chanyeol said. “Is it?”

“If you don’t ruin it.” Baekhyun laughed and laid down, placing both hands underneath his head.

“Then it is.” he grinned. “Midnight picnic. Sandwiches. Cheese. Tomatoes. I even have some chocolate if you fancy, of course.” he said, putting everything on a red cloth. “So?”

“I might start with the chocolate then.” Baekhyun said.

“Then why did I try making sandwiches?” Chanyeol asked, frowning.

“It’s midnight? Who eats at midnight?” the boy laughs.

He stands up, on his bottom and looks at Chanyeol. “You’re lucky I kind of like you.”

“Kind of?”

“Shut up.” Baekhyun laughed. “Give me a sandwich, then.”

“Deal!” Chanyeol burst into laughter and Baekhyun quickly kissed him on the cheek.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> comments and feedback are well loved:)  
> have nice one<3


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